Hands off my BELLY

Last year when my wife and I were visiting Jordan, I got to see an old woman friend of the family whom I have not seen in years. The first thing she said when I entered the room was: “Allah yi-3wed 3laik.” This is an Arabic Jordanian phrase used for a variety of occasions that pertain to loss. The most common uses are for the death of a family member, the major loss of a car or house, and lastly but more commonly, for a couple who do not have children (as in my case).

The rough translation of the phrase may be something like: may God provide a substitute for your loss or may God grant you what you are missing.

Although anybody living native to Jordan, or even spending paying a short visit, would agree that there is very little regard to personal privacy. I would also argue that there is little regard to personal feelings of others who are usually bombarded by unsolicited opinions which cross the line of naïve curiosity to plain old rudeness and lack of consideration. Where else would somebody (can be a family member, casual acquaintance, or a total stranger) comment on very private attributes relating to your persona. Here are some examples of comment or question topics directed at me, often out of the blue:

Physical attributes

• You would look better if you lose a few kilos


• Your cheeks are too skinny you should gain a few kilos (this after my working my butt off to lose weight)


• Shoes too big
  These are not shoes you are wearing, they are more like boats
  You should park your shoes away from traffic
  Where can you find shoes to fit these monster feet?


• Butt too big or too small (depending on the day)


• Too tall – you have to bend down so we can kiss you

Clothes

• This color (name any color) does not look good on you


• This color make you look FAT (also old, young, etc)


• Do you ever wear decent clothes? (usually after arriving from 24 hour flying back from the U.S. in JEANS!)

Hair

• Too little hair (every time they see you, they make the discovery that heck he is bald)

Facial/body hair

• Too little facial/body hair
  It’s NOT nice for a man to be smooth like this (this pretty much raises doubt about my manhood)

There is so many more examples, but this post would get too long if I attempt to list them all. Keep in mind that I am a 43 year old man. Can you imagine how bad it could be for a woman????

Ok back to the pregnancy/children thing, I saw this article on MSNBC about a married woman's struggle with comments about pregnancy. I thought it was hilarious, especially the part about some woman touching her belly (in Jordan they tend to TOUCH too).